These last few weeks I've been in the middle of tax season, buying a new car, and selling my house. So you can say these last few weeks I've also been stress/emotional eating. Big time. It's been an issue I've (not) dealt with for awhile. I'm not sure when it actually started, but I've become so aware of my bad relationship with food over the last five-six (probably) years.
I have always tried to deal with it on my own and the cycle goes: eating healthy, meal prepping, tracking my food, then one bad day and a slip up, turns into two or three because I'm so down on myself for the one slip up, then I finally get back on calorie/macro track, and I am still mentally beating myself up. These bad days/slip ups are binges. They may not be binges on chips or cookies (sometimes maybe they are), sometimes they're binges on peanut butter (hello last two weeks), or on protein oatmeal. I want to be clear about this because in my opinion--it doesn't matter if you're ordering three pizzas to eat all alone, or you eat a whole block of cheese, or half a tub of peanut butter, or you drink too many protein shakes, or you eat 10 apples; if it makes you feel bad, upset, like a failure, like you have to hide it, or it feels like giving up --then it's a binge. It's a problem. "Healthy" or "unhealthy" food - doesn't matter.
My sister and I have talked about this subject a lot. We discussed last week - "How do we fix this issue?" Well my friends, first place I went was my Bible app. Guess what? Not a lot of devotionals on overeating, which I find crazy considering that gluttony is a sin. Next place I went - Podcasts. I found some. However, everyone I listened to about it had a few different ways they solved their own problem- intuitive eating, affirmations, learning to love their body...but not actually in detail about how they went about doing those things, and how to take CONTROL over themselves when they wanted to binge. Remember, I've done posts on dedication, habits, self-discipline, and I can 100% say I have all of those things, until a food binge comes along - control and discipline goes right out the window.
No one talks about these things. So much so, that two of my best friends didn't know that struggled with this. Turns out, they do too! I had no idea. Guess what guys? I think a lot of people have these issues, and it's embarrassing so no one brings it up.
LJ, Hannah and I talked about these for hours at our girls night this last weekend: binging, hiding our food troubles, negative self-talk about the overeating, comparing ourselves to other women, comparing ourselves to our PAST selves, body dysmorphia. We have got to get over this in our minds. How can we look at pictures of ourselves and pick apart our bodies or compare ourselves to the woman next to us? These are OUR bodies -- where we live! We need to start taking better care of our minds, and in turn, our bodies. This is the only body we will ever have. We can't hate it.
So let's talk about what we can do about it.
First, we need to identify our triggers: stress, sadness, anger, the need to feel in control, seeing someone smaller than you in the same dress you ordered, anxiety of an upcoming trip where you're going to be in front of people in a bathing suit, the desire for comfort.
Actually, let's back up -- FIRST let's get comfortable with talking about why we do this. Why do we have a bad relationship with food? Maybe you grew up like this, maybe you watched your mom eat like this. Maybe you didn't have enough food as a kid so whenever you can, you overeat to make sure you won't be hungry later. Maybe it's the only thing in your life you can 'control.' Maybe you're bored. (I'm a boredom eater too!)
Next, let's decide on one thing to do when a trigger happens and you feel the pull to binge - call a friend who knows your struggle, go outside, go for a drive, go to the gym, watch TV, look at your fitness motivational Pinterest board, read your Bible app. Now, also let me say - that sometimes when I've had a bad day and I reach for that peanut butter, none of the above crosses my mind and I couldn't care less about WANTING to do something else. What do we do then? That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I'm on a mission to find out.
How can we re-wire our brains so we actually CARE to not go out of control?
I think I'm going to start with positive affirmations about my body. We all have something we are happy our body can do. Mine has ran two half marathons, with three months of training for each one. That's a lot of miles on these legs. My body has gone through four surgeries. My body functions everyday without a colon. My body has managed the shock and stress that comes with losing a husband. My body trail runs every Sunday. My body lifts more than it's own weight at the gym. My body has hiked 10 miles in a day and wasn't ready to quit. My body is me. God made this body FOR me. So I need to treat it better, don't you think?
Let's go back to the self-discipline and not breaking promises to yourself. Every little win that you have - share it. If you go through one meal without overeating, tell someone. If you go through a day without eating sugary nonsense - let your friends know. Write it on your mirror, on your phone, on your hand - I don't care, to treat yourself well, to make yourself proud, to not give in to ten minutes of satisfaction, then hate yourself for a whole day, or two, or a week. This negative self-talk has to stop.
I have sooo much more I want to say, a lot on what LJ, Hannah and I discussed -- it will come soon. This is an ongoing discovery that I'm personally working on, and I haven't found the answers yet. But we are using this as a starting point to start the discussion about food issues. You don't have to have full-on eating disorders to get something out of this post - this is for everyone who struggles.
If you have questions, or want support, to share your positives and negatives - let us know. We want to hear from you!
Love,
Christine