I was just reading chapter 3 (Excuse #3) of "Girl, Stop Apologizing" by Rachel Hollis; this is the follow up book to "Girl, Wash Your Face." And I have so many things to say about this chapter, this book, this author!
First I want to get it out of the way that I think EVERYONE should read these books. Not just women, not just goal-diggers, not just moms. But everyone. Young women, girls, men, YES, I think men should also read these books. If they can get over the way Rachel addresses her readers sometimes: girl, lady, sister, etc., men should read it too (and they should be able to get over this, seriously who cares if she calls you sister? Be a man). Not all chapters will apply, sure, but the mom chapter doesn't apply to me, I read it anyway. All of her writing has good tips, some of which I will talk about here.
These books light a fire in you. They encourage, they motivate, they show you that this thing isn't that hard, or just because that thing is tough, you can do it anyway. When we read these books it feels like Rachel is giving us the key to our success, and in a way she is. I'm not knocking her because I would NEVER, but a lot of the keys she gives us - they're common sense people. But for me included, sometimes we need that motivation, that kick in the butt to say 'hey she's right, that would be hard for me, but I can do it if I follow her habits or instruction.'
Back to "Girl, Stop Apologizing" Chapter/Excuse #3: First of all, Rachel divides this book into three parts, and the first part is called "Excuses to let go of" and Excuse #3 is "I don't have time."
Excuse #3: 'I don't have time'
She mentions her daily habits called "Five to Thrive"
She expresses the need to plan, schedule, put in your calendar, call them sacred hours -- of five hours a week to commit to striving for that goal you want to achieve. "Five to Strive."
These hours are written in INK in your planner, they can be any combination of time over the 7 day week you want - one hour a day M-F; 10 sessions of 30 minutes each, twice a day for 5 days; all 5 hours on your Saturday -- whatever works for you! You decide what TV show, nap, night out, reading time, etc. that you want to give up in order to make those 5 hours a week work.
Now that doesn't sound great, giving up something for time to work on your goal. But as Rachel says, log your whole week of everything you did. How many hours did you spend watching TV? How many hours at the grocery store? How many hours taking a nap? How many hours of idle or unproductive time did you spend? Turn those into goal-making hours.
An example I want to use, since we focus on fitness a lot in this blog, and it's a huge part of my day, is working out. I can't tell you how many people say "I don't have time to workout," "I don't have time to eat healthy." I call bull. You don't MAKE time. If you really WANT to be healthier, skinnier, stronger, or whatever your goal is, you have to DEDICATE your time.
I go to the gym usually 5-6 days a week. I have it on my workout schedule hanging on my bathroom mirror. It's written in my planner on my desk at work. It's chiseled in stone in my daily activities inside my brain. The workout, class, routine that I'm doing today. It's a habit. I've been doing it for years. I've made that time sacred to me. Does it bother me if someone asks me to do something in that workout time I've scheduled? Yes, it gives me anxiety because that means I don't get my check mark for that day if I don't go to spin class. Do I give up those precious workout hours? Sometimes. Only Sometimes. Not every single time. Not never. You have to decide what's more important to you. If I do give up that spin class and that 2 mile run from Monday to go pickup my niece and nephew, then my run is moved to another day and I do something else to replace that hour of lost cycling. It's fine. It's 1.5 hours transferred to another day in my schedule. Be flexible, but not too flexible that you give up your goal, your dream, your dedication.
Sometimes friends or family make fun of me or get upset that I won't give up my gym time for something. If there is no other day to move that workout to, I may not give it up. If I have to teach my yoga class that day, I may not go to dinner that day. These are important things to me. All of it. And don't get me wrong, especially since my husband died, I find it more important to spend time with family and friends and less time doing nothing, or working late, or doing something non-productive. Time with friends and family and experiences mean everything.
But I have to put myself first. My health, my emotions, my goals. Working out is not just something I do for staying fit or losing weight, it is for my health - I've had health problems, which I'll talk more about another day - and cardio makes my body feel better. My sanity, my sleep, depression, spending quality time with my friends -- all of this I get at my gym everyday. If I give that up too often, what happens to my mood? My gut health? My anxiety and depression? It gets crazy.
But what would you do? Just because something came up and you missed spin, would you replace it on Tuesday? Saturday? Sunday night? If it means something to you. If that goal is meaningful. If you are dedicated. YES, you would move it, make it up, replace it.
This goes for not just fitness. This rule applies to everything!! ALL of your goals. Do you want to eat healthier? Go back to school? Find a new job? Be a better parent? A better spouse? Do you want to read 50 books this year? WHATEVER your goal, dedicate your time. Make it happen. The only person stopping you is you. Don't blame that missed hour on the person that called you and needed your help. Adjust YOUR schedule, it's YOUR GOAL. You have the power to push yourself.
"Is your schedule populated by things that will make your life better, or is it dictated by everybody else's wants and needs?" -Girl, Stop Apologizing
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