I saw someone on Facebook write “fit isn’t a look, it’s a feeling” and oh how I’ve been feeling that lately.
And I don’t mean the good part of feeling fit. I mean the bad part of losing it.
For the past three months, I have been in full on self destruction mode. I haven’t been to the gym. I haven’t been watching what I eat. I haven’t been drinking enough water. Let’s just say, there’s a bunch of things I haven't been doing because I give myself excuses for what’s going on in my personal life. (And I’ll save those excuses for another day)
One of those “haven’t beens” includes church.
Unfortunately, it pains me to say it because I value my church so much and I love every last person who walks through those doors with me every week, and sometimes twice a week. However, last Sunday was Pastor appreciation day and we volunteered to help provide a dish for the after-service dinner. AND I AM SO GLAD WE DID.
It would have been so easy to stay in the bed on Sunday. The weather has finally turned and boy, it was so cold in our room that morning. Under the covers is where I initially wanted to reside all day. But luckily for us, that crockpot full of hamburger beans had other plans for us and we drug ourselves out the door and made it to church for the first time in too long.
I also want to take a moment to tell you about my morning routine lately.
Every morning, I have made it a point to reflect on one daily devotional from “Pressing Pause; 100 Quiet Moments for Moms to Meet with Jesus” and I also read one chapter from “Girl, Wash Your Face” before my two babies wake up to conquer their day. (I highly recommend these two books to EVERYONE. They have helped me so much).
On Sunday, one of the many things Pastor touched on during service was - addiction. Now, just because something doesn’t seem bad doesn’t mean it’s not a sin. If it’s something that is continuously taking from your family or keeping you from the more important things in life, it could be sin and it could be something you are addicted to. It starts as “just a little wont hurt me.” But changes to, “just a little bit more,” and so on and so on. Sitting there, I thought of a handful of things that immediately came to mind. And then I went about the rest of my day.
On Monday morning, I opened up my daily devotional.
The passage comes from Isaiah 58:6-7:
“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the chords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?”
Now, yes, this passage is so much more than fasting. However, this statement comes from a passage regarding fasting. The devotional reads that “in the book of Isaiah, God reprimanded the people for their fasting because they were doing it only for themselves - to get something from God. It’s then that we are given the description of the type of fasting God desires: it breaks yokes and frees those who are imprisoned.”
I started to think, are there things that I can “fast” not because I need something from God, but because it may break the yoke in myself to help me grow my relationship with God?
And finally, I opened up my chapter to read in “Girl, Wash Your Face.” The chapter: “The Lie: I Need a Drink.”
Wow.
Just wow.
Rachel Hollis goes on to talk about how her “one glass of wine at night turned into two glasses of wine at night. Two glasses of wine at night turned into a seven-day-a-week habit that increased in quantity on the weekend.” She tells you that she found a short term solution to a problem that was not going to just magically go away. She learned about her habits and negative behaviors and taught herself better ways to cope with her problems. She ACKNOWLEDGED her problems, and made herself self-aware. And lastly she REMOVED THE TEMPTATION.
So yesterday, I made a list.
What am I addicted to?
1) Sugar
2) Bad Cravings
3) Games on my phone
4) Shopping/Impulse Buying
And then I broke it down further.
What am I going to do to change these habits?
SUGAR
- “It takes 21 days to create a habit, but it takes 90 days for it to become who you are.”
- Go on an “added” sugar fast, starting RIGHT NOW.
- 10/15/2019 - 21 days - 11/05/2019
- 10/15/2019 - 90 days - 1/13/2019
- This is also including alcohol. I have been having a drink every night and I have just been putting on weight and I’ve been bloated and just feeling like CRAP. - This changes now, not tomorrow, not the day after. RIGHT NOW. There is always going to be a reason to wait to start your process. All that does is delay your change.
BAD CRAVINGS
- Start intermittent fasting tonight. 16-8
- Eat dinner before 6 PM.
- Meal replace 2 meals a day. Start with this for 7 days, then 21, then 90.
GAMES
- Delete them. - They are distracting me from my family, my work, my home. I am happier when I accomplish things during my day and this is keeping me from having a clean house, focusing on my babies wholeheartedly, and delaying my work throughout the day. It’s time to stop that cycle.
- By completing my to-do’s, I am serving the Lord.
SHOPPING/IMPULSE BUYING
- Budget in an allowance for shopping. Instead of making it a bad thing, allow for it but put an expense to it. - Pray over things before taking action.
- Save for the things you want/need.
- MOST OF THE THINGS I BUY, WE CAN GO WITHOUT.
— I don’t want to fast only when I need something from God. I want to fast to show my love, loyalty, and thankfulness to the Lord —
I need to make these changes in my life - to grow mentally, spiritually, and physically.
And it all begins now.