I want to start this Enneagram journey with the Nines and not the Ones, because the Nines calmly and patiently wait their turn for everything in life without causing any big fits or scenes. So, Number Nines, this one’s for you.
Nines: The Peacemakers (Mediators)
Nines are naturally patient, trusting, calm, optimistic, and are natural mediators. They’re usually on the quieter side, or at least quiet about things that could cause friction. A common Nine trait is saying “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” or “I don’t know, where do you want to eat?” after being asked a question. This isn’t saying that they can’t be assertive, just that they want the people around them to be happy. Their main goal is to keep the peace, so they’re not going to do anything that will rock the boat.
Nines crave stability. It’s their core desire. They often seek these out in friendships and relationships. Nines like to be around other Nines because most Nines are stable beings, no surprise there. In fact, most of my friends identify as Type Nines. I think people naturally gravitate towards them because they have a calming presence. They are the epitome of “go with the flow”. An amazing talent that they have is uniting people because they can see multiple perspectives in a situation. They make sure that everyone’s voices are heard and respected, which make them a pretty great person to have in your office, on your team, or in your friend group. They're also natural question askers and answer seekers, they dig for answers that can bring them peace.
They have a lot of great qualities. But let’s talk about the not-so-great. Nines have a core fear of being unstable and living in conflict. In fact, they actively avoid conflict and things that make them uncomfortable. This can lead them to become stagnant, because as we know, not all conflict is bad. Conflict can create growth. With this, Nines often avoid heavy emotions or stressful tasks. They can be serious procrastinators and they’re the first to excuse themselves from the table at Thanksgiving when their family members get a little tense. Avoiding emotions can actually be a pretty dangerous thing because when they continue to bottle them up, they eventually explode. That’s why Nines are in the “Body Type” trio along with Eights and Ones. This means that they have a close relationship with anger, specifically explosive anger. Nines don’t usually “get mad”, they’ll have one big blow out for a dozen things at once every so often.
This is a common trait of an unhealthy Nine. Unhealthy Nines can also have anxious thoughts by asking themselves “What if I’m talking too much?” or “What if I’m bugging them?” Sometimes unhealthy Nines focus so much on other people that they forget about themselves completely and they have no boundaries whatsoever, which can make them extremely unhappy. On the flip side, healthy Nines are able to process (not avoid) their feelings and therefore they don’t have these blow ups. Additionally, healthy Nines are able to set boundaries for themselves which allows them to express their opinions in a healthy way to others and know their wants and needs.
The world would not run without Type Nines. I am extremely thankful for them and their God given gifts of mediation and peace. If you relate to any of these traits or are curious about the other types I would encourage you to take the free Enneagram Test at EnneagramCoach.com to find out your type! Watch for my Type Eights article next time.
Xoxo,
Beth