There’s a reason that Type 8’s are called Challengers and there’s an even better reason why Type 8w9’s are known as “Bears”. This type is incredibly fierce, inspiring, and are born leaders. They are the heroes of the Enneagram because they refuse to back down from a challenge.
My best friend is a Type 8. Coincidentally, I am a Type 2 and we are the opposites of each other. While I am openly expressive and will back down from a fight quite quickly if I know it can upset someone (more on that in the Type 2 article), while she stands firm in an argument but refuses to voice her own feelings if she knows that it can make her look weak or vulnerable. On the Enneagram chart, 2’s are an 8’s growth point while 8’s can cause 2’s major stress. My advice is that if you’re one of these numbers, befriend someone with the opposite number. You’ll both grow in the best way. I can definitely say I’m more assertive with her help and I like to think that she’s more comfortable with expressing her emotions with my influence.
Type 8’s have the core desire to protect themselves and be in control. Which means that their basic fear is being controlled. I have noticed in my personal life that this doesn’t just mean being controlled by people, but it could be being controlled by their emotions, a job, or a relentless schedule. This can make 8’s prone to anxiety (anxiety’s literal definition is not being in control of your circumstances), but they usually don’t openly wrestle with it like other numbers do. Instead, it can come out in anger, irritability, or a complete emotional shut down. Since 8’s struggle to be in-tune with their emotions, sometimes it can take them much longer to figure out what is actually wrong and how it needs to be fixed. Sometimes they just need a little help (even if they won’t admit it).
Type 8’s can be identified as rebels, but I like to see them more as self-sufficient leaders. They can inspire people, speak up for what they believe in, are decisive, and are usually the ones in the friend group that everyone looks to when something goes wrong. With this, 8’s are extremely protective towards their family and friends, they are the classic example of “You can’t say that to them, only I can say that to them.'' They can be very confrontational and come off as aggressive or assertive at times. An important thing to know about Type 8’s is that they are not mean, they are trying to protect themselves. Actually, Type 8’s have a lot of emotions that they have slowly learned to control over time. Their hearts are guarded and so are their emotions because vulnerability gives other people control over them. If an 8 opens up to you, it is no small feat.
With this being said, pushing them to open up will most likely push them away. They will do it in their own timing and they require a lot of patience and understanding from other numbers so that they have a safe place to do so.
One thing that I have always admired about my 8 friend is that she is beyond confident. You can tell by the way she carries herself when she walks into a room. Which is exactly what 8’s want! They want to leave a mark wherever they are. They want to be remembered. What can I say? They have big egos. But those egos push them and drive them passionately to accomplish whatever they set their minds to.
I think sometimes 8’s have a bad reputation because unhealthy 8’s can be aggressive, closed-off, mean, and domineering. But healthy 8’s can be courageous, big-hearted, and can give up needing a sense of control to feel okay. If you identify as a Type 8, I would encourage you to constantly check where you’re at on the unhealthy/healthy scale to ensure that you are using your talents in the best way possible.
Type 8’s, thank you for being the brave leaders in the world and for secretly having hearts of gold (yeah, we know, and we’re onto you).
Xoxo,
Beth
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