Communicating with Your Partner

Yeah, yeah. We’ve all heard it before. “Communication is key!”

Is that true?

Absolutley.

However, telling your partner how you feel means NOTHING if they aren’t actually listening to you.

Now, I’m about to get really honest with you all.

Spencer and I have had some type of tension building up. I couldn’t explain it, but we could both feel it.

We were both distant. Every time we would speak to each-other, it became speaking AT each other, and end in bickering and frustration.

With our anniversary just around the corner, I knew I didn’t want to spend our very first anniversary with this funk all over us. And let’s be real, our sex life had been slacking because of it too. I tried for 3 days to sit down and have a conversation with him about what was going on with us. But every time we would try, something would happen.

The kids would interrupt.

We were too tired.

Etc., etc..

And I kept trying.

That‘s the thing, I believe, that keeps our relationship growing.

We always keep trying for each other.

Finally, last night we talked.

At first, I couldn’t pin point what was going on.

Neither of us could.

Spencer was getting mad because I wouldn’t just TELL him what it was that was bothering me.

I told him, “You don’t understand. I don’t ‘know’ what exactly it is. I just know something’s been building up and I just need you to TALK to me.”

So that’s what we did. We kept digging and digging into things that have been frustrating us and then finally - a breakthrough.

I started crying.

It‘s funny how I didn’t even realize that one last thing was what had been the core of my frustration and building up the tension between us. That one last thing had fueled something in me to cause him to be frustrated with me in return, and so on and so on.

My point is:

- When your feeling something is off in your relationship, nip it in the butt. Get to the bottom of it right away. Don’t let things build up, because it will just break you.

- When your significant other is trying to communicate their feelings to you, LISTEN. UNDERSTAND them. And I mean, actually try to. Don’t brush them off. Their feelings are what makes them who they are. If you disregard what they are telling you, it is just going to make them more frustrated and angry in the long run.

I‘m not saying we are the perfect couple and we know how to handle every situation in the best way.

But I do love how we handle our relationship with care, respect, and love - just like we do each other.

Keep that spark alive,

Ashley